And Then There Stood Chaos AKA Emmett
by Clumsy Girls Have All The Luck
Summary: I always wonder wut would happened if the Cullen's ate garlic. So I came up with that they get sick.This is Emmett spending the day with Bella. That can't be good! Not a oneshot people! Now R.R. before I have to kill you...
1. Chapter 1

_I wanted Bella to spend a day at school with Emmett so this is what I came up with._

_Also this is a very short chapter and a bit of a forward so it will be short. _

_I've always wonder what happened to vampire when they get eat garlic so I came up with that they get the flu. That should help the story make sence though if you read the summery you probaly know that. Now R.R. :P_

_But first you have to read this. ( sorry for choppy sentences and spelling errors and not putting -cough-)_

_Disclimber: (I think that's spelled wrong:D.) Anyhoo again._

_Disclimber #2: I don't own Twilight. Or Trithway. The all mighty one. Or garlic pita chip (actually I'm not sure if the agsist) the water I'm drinking. The chicken dance. Dr. Evil. Who I wrote a play about. Pink Floyd (they Rock!) this computer. Or myself. I signed a contract. I now hereby belong to Katie Sautter. And the term now all you need is a flamethrower! But at the very least I own the term: come my minions and we will riet agenst Mc Donalds. Yeah. I don't own the word yeah either. Wow that was long I should go down in history as the person who wrote the longest disclimber. (is that spelled wrong!) Now before I change my mind here is chapter one._

_I -cough- blame-cough- Alice-cough or I Wanna Be Sick Too!_

Alice's Pov

"Alice, why are we at a super market?" Bella asked, fatique from a long day of complaning about me taking her shopping. ( I couldn't blame her. I was sure it could make the record books.) "Silly Bella this isn't just a super market. No this is the super market. This now.. we sure have something here this is a Thrithway. You should know that by now."

"Right." She said slightly annoyed. Reaching for the door. "Wait!" I called.

"What is it now." She was definitely annoyed now.

"Before we enter such a sacrid place, we must worship it." I bent my elbows and bowed to the brightly colored building chanting "We are not worthy." I looked at Bella after over ten minutes of chanting, who was furiously trying to get out of the car.

"Alright me a can go in now." I reached over and smugly unlocked Bella's door.

(A.N. Alice dropped Bella off sick of her complaning and is now aproching the Cullen household. With a grocery bag...)

As soon as I was on the front step Edward ran out pose like a wild animal. "WHERE'S BELLA!?! WHERE BELLA!?!" He screached. I pushed him over easily with my foot and walked in through the open door.

He continued shouting at me as enter the kitchen. Rosalie appeared in the kitchen Emmett close behind her. What are those she asked as I dumped some chip like thing into a bowl.

"Pita chips."

"Do you know me can't eat?"

Have you ever tried it?" Though she didn't answer because at the momemt Edward enter the room with a mud stain on his forhead from my boot. Me and the rest of the family who had now enter the room laugh at him . Acept Emmett who seemed to be pondering something while staring at a grocery bag.

"Emmett?" Esme asked.

"Thrift-way. Huh never hear of it."

Rosalie: "Never heard of it."

Alice: gasps "Then you are not worthy!"

Rosalie: "What ever let just eat these pita chip things."

Family looks confused but digs in anyways. Emmett reach but Alice slaps his hand down.

Alice: No Emmett you may not feed upon what comes from the almighty one. For you are not worthy."

Emmett: "What! Not even one!?!"

Alice: "Nope."

Emmett: "Please!"

Alice:"Nope."

Emmett: "What if I dance!?!"

Alice: Conciders. "Dance! Fool! Dance! And not just dance the chicken dance! And sing fool sing!!!!"

Emmett: Doing chicken dance I don't want to be a chicken I don't want to be a duck quack, quack, quack, quack! (A.N. Uh sorry I don't know the rest off the words.)

Alice: Laugh hastarically with the rest of the Cullens eating the last of the pita chips and enjoying the entertainment.

Emmett: "Okay now can I have a pita chip!?!"

Alice: "No."

Emmett: "What!?! But you said-"

Alice: "I only told you to dance I didn't tell you that you would get anything in return."

Emmett: "That's not fair!"

Alice: "Is too."

Emmett: "Is not!"

Alice: "Is too!"

Emmett: "Is not!"

Alice:"Is too!"

Emmett: "Is not."

Charlisle: "ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!" -Cough-

Edward: (who still has boot print on fore head! He He!) "What-cough is -cough- going-cough- on!?!-Cough-"

Charlisle: "I-cough- don't-cough- know!"

Jasper: "But-cough-you're-cough-a-cough-doctor!"

Charlisle:"Doctors-don't-cough-know-cough-everything!"

Jasper:"Do-cough-too-cough-!"

Charlisle:"do-cough-cough-not-"

Edward: "ENOUGH-COUGH-COUGH-SICK-COUGH-OF-THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-COUGH-I'M-COUGH-SICK-OF-ALL-OF-COUGH-YOU-COUGH-ALL! WHY-DON'T-COUGH-WE-COUGH-DO-COUGH-SOMETHING-COUGH-MORE-COUGH-USEFULL-COUGH-WITH-ARE-TIME-COUGH-LIKE-FIGURE-YOU-WHAT-THE-HELL-IS-WRONG-WITH-COUGH-US-COUGH-DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Emmett: "Wow."

Rosalie: "Hey-cough-why-cough-isn't-Emmett-hacking-cough-up-cough-a-lung!?!"

Alice:"Let's mutiny!" Everyone stares confusedly at Alice. (a.n. Is confusedly even a word!?!) While coughing like mad.

Esme: Why-cough-would-cough-we-cough-mutiny?"

Alice:"-cough-don't-cough-know-cough. We-cough-just-cough-should."

Emmett: "That's not fair! I wanna be sick too!"

Edward: "IS-COUGH-ANYONE-COUGH-GOING-COUGH-COUGH-TO-ANSWER-MY-COUGH-QUESTION-COUGH!"

Emmett: "No."

Edward: "UHG!" Edward suddenly pounces on Emmett and starts to fight. But it doesn't last long because Edward gets a horrible migrane and has to lay down on the couch. So the disscussion moves to the living room. (everyone's (except for a very upset Emmett.) coughing more than ever.)

Charlise: After ten coughiful moments Charlise stops pondering and comes up with an answer. "Well-cough-it's-cough-quite-cough-simple-"

Jasper: "See-cough-doctors-cough-do-cough-know-cough-know-cough-everything!"

Charlise: "May-cough-I-cough-finish?"

Jasper:"Only-for-cough-Edward-cough-sake."

Emmett: "Yeah before we have to put him in anger management. _Again." _Edward again tries to fight Emmett. But it end the same as before, with the exception that Edward swallow a entire bottle of Advil.(a.n. don't try that!) And "happy pills" (a.n. kidding kidding!)

Charlisle: "Anyway-cough-it's-cough-a-cough-allergic-cough-to-cough-the-chips-cough."

Emmett:"So then it's Alice's fault."

"I-cough-blame-cough-Alice-cough!" Rosalie Jasper and Edward (dispite his horrid headache.) (A.n. Rosalie Edward and Jasper all said that. I'm just to lazy to change it.)

Alice: "Don't-cough-hurt-cough-me!"

Edward:"Oh-cough-don't-cough-worry-we'll-cough-do worse-cough-that-cough-that!" As Edward, Rosalie, and Jasper battle. Charlisle tries to breake it up with no sucess while Alice hides in a tree. Esme looks for what caused the "reaction." Emmett makes a run for it and goes to his and Rosalie room to watch cartoons.

Esme: "Garlic-cough-that-cough-must-be-cough-it! Cough-Charlisle!-cough."

Charlise: "Esme-cough-I'm-cough-busy!-cough-! They're-cough-tearing-cough-eachother-cough-to-cough-shreads-cough-and-cough-Edward's-cough-migrane-is-cough-so-cough-suvere-cough-that-cough-he's-cough-fighting-cough-them-on-the-ground! -Cough-and-cough-I-cough-think-cough-he's-cough-winning!cough-!"

Esme:"Oh-cough-my!-cough!" Cough-Emmett!-cough!-Come-cough-down-cough-here-cough!"

Emmett: "Uh... I'm kinda busy Esme! I'm uh...,... writing an S.A.!"

Esme: "Emmett-cough-I-can-cough-here-cough-the-cough-cartoons! Come-cough-down-here-right-cough-now! Or-cough-no-cough-T.V.-cough-for-cough-a-cough-month!"

Emmett:"WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" At that moment Emmett flash down the stair and screamed things at Edward, Rosalie, Charlise, Jasper things I'm not aloud to put on this site. He dragged them all in by there ears while continuing to scream letting go of the shoocked four of them who were all rubbing their sore ears. "NOW LISTEN TO ESME DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Rosalie: Uh-cough-sorry-cough-Emmy-" (a.n. Emmett's nickname.)

Emmett: "Don't call me that and I don't accept your apalagy!" Now Esme had something to say. And anyone who interrupts I'm locking in Edward's piano!"

Edward:"Why my piano!?!"

Emmett: "AHHHHHGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Emmett shoves Edward in his own piano causing a very noisey off key song. Emmett starts to play as Edward tries to get out. ( a.n. just pretent vampires can't breake padlocks! Okay!)

Esme: (Talking to the rest of the Cullens at the completely usual event.) "-Cough-they're -cough-garlic pita-cough- chips."

Charlisle:" So-cough-garlic-cough-has-cough-affect-cough-on-cough-us!!"

Jasper: "Charlisle-cough-you-cough-must-cough-have-cough-been-cough-right. Doctors-cough-don't-cough-know-cough-everything."

Charlisle: "That's-cough-right!-cough-."

Jasper: They-cough-don't-cough-know-cough-anything!"

Charlisle: "WHAT!" Charlisle pounces on Jasper and they start fist fighting.

Rosalie: Wait-cough-were-cough-sick! -cough-Sick-cough-people-cough-are-cough-gross! I-cough-don't-cough-want-cough-to-cough-be-cough-gross! aLICE-COUGH-I'M-COUGH-GONNA-COUGH-KILL-COUGH-YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! BE-COUGH-AFIRID-COUGH-BE-COUGH-VERY-COUGH-AFIRID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Alice: "Ahhhhhhh!" Runs back up the tree as Rosalie tries to catch her.

Esme: "AM-COUGH-I-COUGH-THE-COUGH-ONLY-COUGH-SANE-COUGH-ONE-COUGH-LEFT!!!!!!!!!"

All but Esme: "YES!"

_Uh well that was tons longer then I expected. I proud of myself! And guess what I found out that JOHNNY DEPP is filming Pirates Of The Carribean 3 in my town I know his hotel and everything! So i'm gonna try and stock him. While my brother goes after Keira Knightly! So gotta go do that now. But before I go ..._

_You know I did some research and I found out what Mr. T has been trying to say His entire life! Here it is..._

_I Pity The Fool Who..._

_doesn't review to Edward13 fanfic! So don't go agenst Mr.T's wish and review!_

_OR ELESE..._


	2. Letter to reader please read

Sorry this isn't a chapter I just want to tell everyone that my new pen name is Nightmare366. Thanx.

Nightmare366 (formally Edward13)


	3. What!

this stupid thing deleted the chapter I just wrote! I'll rewrite it later sorry.

Nightmare366


	4. PE Summer School

Sorry this didn't come out sooner it's just school started and... yeah. Just read it and all your wildest dreams will come true. (Not really but if you want to think that fine by me).

* * *

Emmett jumped quickly over the deathly looking bodies covering the floor, all moaning for sprite and chicken noodle soup. Emmett grabbed a random backpack and flew out the door. Emmett made his was way to the Volvo yanking the door so hard that it fell off. "Oops... well Edwards deserves it making me run his earns for him... that-" Emmett stopped realizing that he was yelling. 

Emmett jammed the key into the ignition classical music started to blast through the cars. "This sound system cost more then the car it's self and he listens to this crap!" Emmett said angrily under his breath. He ripped the cd out of player literally ripped only getting out half the cd. "Oops." Or no music that's fine.

Emmett pulled into the Swan's driveway squinting through the fog he saw Charlie give him the "I'm watching you" symbol. What did he do wrong!

The passenger door opened softly. "Hey Eddy, what's with the door... actually I don't want to know." Emmett looked at Bella Out of the corner of his eye what the fu- there was innocent little Bella decked out in a rain soaked white tank top, pink plaid micro mini skirt and bright pink stiletto heels. Emmett burst out laughing. And I always thought Edward was a virgin... guess not.

Bella groaned. "Alice's idea. Anyway I'll wear anything as long as I can be with you, Eddy." Wait Eddy... that means that she thinks that I'm...

Bella wrapped her arms around his neck. " No wait Bell-" To late she was already kissing him. Roughly he pushed her off of him. "Bella I'm Emmett!"

"Emmett what are you do-" Something hit the back of the car that sounded like a bullet.

"WHAT WAS THAT?!" Emmett screamed.

"Charlie. DRIVE!" Emmett sped of into the fog.

After a minute or two Bella said (oh so very calmly), "So where's everyone?"

Emmett looked at her, how could she be so... so CALM! Was that like an every day thing at the Swan household?! "Oh uh they're all sick."

"Vampires can get sick?"

Emmett sniffled. "They all ate the garlic pita chips."

"God thing you didn't eat any." But she didn't sound like she though it was a god thing.

"Yeah it's not like I didn't want any or anything." Emmett mutter just missing a van, Bella didn't even flinch.

Bella ignored his sorrows. "How could this day get any worse?!" She cried.

"What else bad has happened today?" Emmett said not really paying attention he couldn't stop thinking about how good those pita chips must of tasted.

There's this new law that if a teacher thinks you're not fit to pass P.E. then they give you a whole day of straight P.E., and if you don't get thought that then you have to do P.E. summer school! Who is that evil!?"

"Shoot I'm screwed."

"Why? I thought you were good at sports." Bella muttered.

"I am but Rose and I P.E. period is usually when the janitors go to lunch. So we usually go into the janitors closet and-"

"Okay doesn't need the details!" Bella screamed, as they ran to the shelter of the school onning.

"I was just gonna say we race cockroaches jeez."

Bella didn't hear him, she ran over to a large bulletin board that read: All Day P.E. Students. "Well…?" Emmett mused.

"Hello P.E. summer school."

* * *

**He, he I hope you liked it! Now R&R! Or else…**


	5. Jump rope

**Kay sorry this has taken so long just with school and all... yeah anyway I'm not sure if I've said this already but the rest of the chapters are gonna be quite short. Just Bella and Emmett doing sports (don't worry it WILL be funny!) but their should be alot (of Chapters) so I hope you like this. Oh and by the way P.E. summer school is real I didn't go but I know someone who did. My teachers understand I'm to weak and clumsy to be good at sports so they just ignore me. So sad.**

**

* * *

**

Emmett walked into the boys locker room, most of the people their look like they're on something, just to blank out the horror that is P.E. as bella would say. Emmett glided over to his locker pulling out his gym clothes. They looked kinda small... He looked down at the name box _ALICE CULLEN_ was written in elegant script. Oops, uh well they probaly aren't that bad, Emmett thought holding them agensts him. Oh, who was he kidding? Emmett would be lucky if he got a leg in there so much as his body.

Emmett checked the tag XXS for children, great. Emmett struggle to yank it on, but it just looked like a fleece thong. The shirt didn't even go half way down his chest. Emmett waddled quickly out of the locker room people laugh and pointed.

Just keep your manly manly dignity, Emmett thought.

"Uh... Emmett," Bella stammered. "I know that my outfit was kinda revealing but you don't have to try and match it."

"I wasn't trying too!"Emmett cried falling to his knee, so much for manly manly dignity.

A butch P.E. teacher handed him a thin orenge rubber rope. Is this so we can hang ourselves? He looked over to Bella, and felt like his jaw could hit the asphalt. Bella was jumproping so fast that it was just an orenge blur around her.

"Uh... Bella..." Emmett stammered. "I thought you sucked at sports!"

She stopped for a moment. "Oh I am, but silly Emmett I am one of the choosen ones."

"You mean like with Wool Worths?" Emmett sighed.

"No silly. One of the people who is clumsy yet good at jump roping. It's a gift."

Before Emmett could respond he felt a hard wack to the back of his head. He turned slowly to see a very scared Mike Neuton. "Um sorry E-E-m-m-etttttttttttt it wqas an accident." He whimpered.

Emmett put his arm around his shoulders. "Oh sure it was old buddy old pal."

Mike let out a sigh of relief. "It's good to know I was really scared for a second."

"Well you should be." Emmett grinned tightening his grip around his shoulder.

"Why?" He asked meekly.

"Because you're good at sports and why else would you be here other then to steal my darling Bella away from my dear brother."

"Um... um well it's kinda a funny story..."

"Right." Emmett plucked him up with two fingers and flung him into the girls locker room.

There were many girly cries before he was throw out with many bruises that he did not have before he entered.

"Emmett what the hell!" Bella shrieked.

"Relax Bella you're safe now." He wrapped his arms around her rocking her back and forward.

"WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING MY BELLA?????!!!!!!!!" Came from the other side of the gym.

* * *

**_Hello! Sorry for the cliffy but it was nesscessary okay no it wasn't but I have math homework. Next update should be soon this weekend hopefully._**

**_pleaz review!_**

**_Nightmare366_**


End file.
